How to Escape the Male Gaze, According to A Sexologist

In a new interview, Hypebae sits down with sexologist Suzannah Weiss to discuss her latest book, Subjectified: Becoming a Sexual Subject.

A few scrolls through TikTok or TikTok, and you’re bound to see endless discussions on the male vs. female gaze. We’ve seen it in fashion, ethical porn and now, in efforts to reclaim your sexuality. Inspired by her journey, Weiss couldn’t ignore how much of what women experience is powered by the male gaze. Even the English language reinforces toxic beliefs. Take the word objectified. It's the "action of degrading someone to the status of a mere object," Weiss writes. Yet some "basic sentence structures," such as "subject verb object" inherently objectify women.

For example, "You may now kiss the bride" means "the husband kisses the wife. She is kissed. She is taken. She is claimed. By him."

 

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The truth is, forms of objectification like chronic exposure to the male gaze – even in porn for women – become internalized. No matter how confident you are, you’re susceptible to "objectified body consciousness" Weiss stated. It is the "tendency to view one's body as an object for others to look at and evaluate" and it has become synonymous with girlhood and womanhood.

With chapters stylized and named "I ___," each page questions how we’ve been primed to perceive ourselves as women – and what reclamation would look like. Given her experience as a sex writer and in-house sexologist at Biird, Weiss’ journey chronicles the journey of rejecting the male gaze and its subsequent objectification by introducing you to her new concept: subjectification.

This is actually a deep rabbit hole. I've been saying this for awhile actually. It's the basis of being "objectified." The subject-object distinction. Men view themselves as subjects, women often view themselves as objects in third person. When you notice this you can't stop https://t.co/RHbklVqfkD

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