Ask a (S)expert: "Why Does My Butt Plug Keep Falling Out?"

Welcome to your new safe space and Hypebae's first-ever sex and dating column, Ask a (S)expert. This new weekly series is led by Haitian-Chinese and LA-based sexpert Gigi Fong, our in-house sex and dating editor.

Gigi is a former sex worker, boudoir artist and podcaster now hosting safe spaces for the Hypebae community. She specializes in all things sex-positive from unconventional dating to pleasure for lovers of all identities. To have your questions answered, visit our dropbox below and anonymously send your intimate inquiries ♡

"Does it mean your butthole is loose of your butt plug falls out during sex? Is this normal? Or does it happen to anyone besides me?"

"Is it normal for a butt plug to come out on its own during sex? If it's not normal for it to come out then why is does it happen? Or does this even happen to anyone else? Maybe my B-hole is getting loose? Or I need to do some strengthening exercises? Totally embarrassed!"

Hey bae! Welcome home 'cause butt plugs are not only always a trending topic in sex.. but in fashion too. *Cue Diesel’s butt plug invites* Anywho, I say all this to say, given how much we joke about butt play, there’s no mainstream sex ed around the bum. So your confusion is completely valid.

There are several potential reasons why your butt plug may be falling out but for starters... let's dive into this "loose" language. The term "loose" is mostly used when trying to inflict shame upon women, specifically, when referencing the vaginal opening. So let's ditch that word.

Next, as much fun as butt plugs are, they can lead to a lot of problems. I mean, why else would I have an article titled, "How to Shop for Butt Plugs That Won’t Get Lost in Your Bum?"

On a serious note, you're butt plug mishaps may be attributed to two factors: lube and -- forgive my French -- how rough you're f-cking. Frequently switching positions and thrusting can definitely cause a butt plug to shift so don't be alarmed.

As for lube, consider how much you're using. Although lube can make sensations feel 10x better — shameless plug to our guide here, it can also provide too much slip which isn’t ideal for keeping a plug in. I'd try decreasing the amount of lube and adjusting until you find the perfect amount for your bum.

Lastly, try a T-shaped butt plug. If you've never tried one, the name gives it all away as its a butt plug in the shape of a T. The only caveat is that these are thicc so definitely not for beginners.

For more on butt plugs and shopping for the ideal fit, visit our full guide.

Best of luck, bae!

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