Ask a (S)expert: "What’s Your Best Sex Tip?"

Welcome to your new safe space and Hypebae's first-ever sex and dating column, Ask a (S)expert. This new weekly series is led by Haitian-Chinese and LA-based sexpert Gigi Fong, our in-house sex and dating editor.

Gigi is a former sex worker, boudoir artist and podcaster now hosting safe spaces for the Hypebae community. She specializes in all things sex-positive from unconventional dating to pleasure for lovers of all identities. To have your questions answered, visit our dropbox below and anonymously send your intimate inquiries ♡

"What's your best sex tip for being good at sex?"

Hey bae! Let's dive into the tips you really need.

When you don't know what to do with your hands...

When I first started exploring threesomes, there was a moment when I literally did not know what to do with my hands -- yes, I'm an anxious queen. I mean, you have two bodies already intertwined with each other... where the f-ck was I supposed to fit in? And then it hit me, "You can never have enough when it comes to touch and sex!" So, I used the tips of my acrylics to graze my lovers' backs and before you know it, sh-t got pretty hot.

The point is, to familiarize yourself with erogenous zones like inner thighs, the curve of your lover's back and the nape of their neck. So when you feel awkward, your lover's body is a guide. Over time, it'll become muscle memory and you'll become each other's favorite lover's -- because you took the time to learn how to be.

Communication > performing

As unsexy as it sounds -- communication is key. Most of our introductions to sex were through a coming-of-age teen film or porn, which means sex has always been synonymous with performance. But, actually sitting down and communicating about what feels good is the most effective way to be good at sex.

Lube is your bestie

We know, we know -- no one wants to talk about dry p-ssy. But anyone experienced with sex will tell you, lube is essential. When having sex for longer than the average three to seven minutes, yes that's a real statistic, vaginal walls can become dry due to the friction of penetration. If you're more of an anal girlie, you've probably felt the same effect.

Lubricants offer more slip which in turn, allows you to feel every inch of pleasure. On a more clinical note, it helps avoid microtears during sex which can make it easier to contract STIs and are honestly, just unnecessarily painful.

Foreplay and outercourse

Whether you're queer and call it outercourse, or straight and foreplay -- it's important. Between nerves, aka performance anxiety, and the fact that this is probably a new experience for you, your mind and body may need time to "warm up." Exploring touch, for example, is a great way to ease yourself into pleasure and make sure you both actually c-m.

Experiment with toys

I'm admittedly biased as a sex toy connoisseur, but toys are great for (s)exploration. I mean, they're literally scientifically crafted to help you c-m... why waste science? From clit stimulators to dildos to interactive porn, toys introduce you to new styles of pleasure. Research also found that women who use sex toys become more confident in the bedroom so love it or hate it, you'll leave with inspo for your next pleasure sesh.

Use protection!

Birth control doesn't protect from STIs, only condoms. So make sure you always use a condom!!

Best of luck, bae!

In other news, dress to impress with these runway-inspired date night looks.

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