EXCLUSIVE: I Attended Di Petsa's Wetness Full Moon Workshop and It Changed My Life

Truthfully, wetness is a concept that either makes me think of sexual pleasure or grosses me out entirely. Yet, Dimitra, the designer behind the fashion brand Di Petsa enjoys interacting with the concept for that very reason. Although most know her for her wet dresses that have been worn by the likes of everyone from the Hadid's to Chlöe Bailey, she also hosts a monthly Wetness Full Moon Ceremony that carries the same purpose as her fashion shows. To be "around other people with whom you can share this experience of opening up, using our bodies to express our connection with water, to let go of shame," and of course, "harness the moons energy and transformative power to guide the tides within you," Dimitra shared.

Genesis

Upon entering Dimitra's workshop, she dons one of her most recent designs -- a black dress with the insignia "Drink the moon." The pieces from this drop host a Wetness poem "so you are carrying with you this performance script to subtitle your daily experience -- to set an intention." She's actively carrying her perspective of the world with her, and through her designs and workshops, she encourages us to do the same. "My fashion practice is not just about clothes it is also about a different kind of dressing, the meaning and symbolism with which you “dress” your self perception, what beauty means to you, how do you view your body," she continued.

Because our bodily fluids are so stigmatized, we find it shameful to release them. For example, we shame sweat stains, avoid sweating cause it makes our hair greasy and don't let us feel the need to cry in public, or else we'll feel like an emotional wreck. There are the moments we get washed with emotion at work and feel like we have to hide in the restroom before being spotted.

As we all settled into a comfortable position, I couldn't help but notice how serene the energy was. I had only virtually met these women three minutes ago. How was I already so comfortable?

Dimitra set a timer and asked us to set a few intentions for the session. We then transitioned into a number of healing practices and a specific practice I was rather surprised by: gargling water. These practices forced me to come out of my shell and overlook feeling silly, something I haven't been able to do in a while. But one exercise left me feeling completely open.

Preparing for the breakthrough

Before doing a body scan meditation, Dimitra led a gratitude practice where we thanked our hands for everything they make possible. For some this may sound like a new age, hippie practice but in actuality, it was the foundation for the most intense healing.

I was hesitant to engage but I stuck with it. As we completed the gratitude practice, she asked us to put our hands over our eyes and let go of the emotions we wanted to release,. All of the times you wanted to cry but did not allow yourself to, this was a moment to heal.

"My fashion practice is not just about clothes it is also about... the meaning and symbolism with which you 'dress' your self-perception, what beauty means to you, how do you view your body."

We then moved from our eyes to our mouths and meditated on everything it makes possible from desire to sustenance. And then, before I knew it, she asked us to move to our chests. Well, our breasts, but she shared at the beginning that if we were uncomfortable with certain practices, we could modify them. As a trauma survivor, I was not comfortable with physical touch on my breasts so I modified the movement accordingly.

But even with the modification I instantly began to bawl -- in front of everyone in the workshop. A wave of embarrassment washed over me and I instantly felt the urge to turn off my camera. Feeling the need to cry while touching my chest revealed there was something in my subconscious I had ignored. So escaping from that moment by turning off my camera felt like a disservice.

Reflection

As Dimitra continued the guided body meditation, I realized why I was overcome with emotion. As women, we're constantly sexualized -- even from a young age. When I began my journey as a sex worker, those experiences doubled. When you're sexualized that much, that often, you begin to carry the words and perceptions of others. When you dress, you wonder how appealing you'll look. Other times, you avoid dressing in certain ways subconsciously -- and wrongfully -- believing it will help avoid certain types of attention.

I suddenly realized the genius that was Dimitra -- the body scan meditation had to begin with our hands because they would guide us through this practice and keep us grounded. We had to meditate on tears and emotion first because that was likely a mechanism that would help us release throughout the session.

At the end of the workshop, we each shared our reflections and I was surprised by the sentiments shared by the other women. I realized the heavy feelings I experienced weren't exclusive to sex workers. The judgment, shame and thoughts I was carrying, a lot of women carried that, too. In fact, every woman present shared that when they reached their breasts during the body scan meditation, they were triggered by the perceptions and shame of the world. And previous to this, none of us had realized how much shame and discontent we carried in our chest area.

As people who identify as women, we're socialized to carry the weight of the world and that affects how we engage with ourselves. When you pair that with the shame surrounding releasing, it makes me wonder -- when do we ever get to be free?

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